Sunday, October 7, 2018

About second chances



I had ditched blogging and went awol from the internet for a long time for multiple reasons. One of the most pressing reasons was my concerns as a parent about posting pictures of my child.

I was a delirious mother whose world revolved around one tiny person.  I enjoyed every bit of it. Becoming a stay-at-home-mom was perhaps not the wisest career decision I have taken, I am not known for taking worldly wise decisions anyway. I recorded the most mundane moments from our world and shared it here. Infancy gave way to childhood and our relationship as mother and child also evolved. Increasingly I wanted to respect his privacy. It was also time for me to do some soulsearching. There are many private struggles I am not ready to talk about yet. 

However, that is not what I want to talk about today. This is about starting afresh. I had taken a long break from academics and started doing my PhD two years back. Almost all of my friends have settled in their jobs, have crossed professional milestones, most of them completed their PhD's and here I am with a million ongoing projects (none completed) and crises (oh the crises) and the only steady development is that I am raising a child. I have my own doubts about how well I am doing the raising part as most of the time it is him raising me than the other way around, but I am doing okay more or less. I have a lot of uncertainties ahead. But that is not what I want to talk about either. 

What I miss about blogging is the carefree way one could go about writing. I miss that. Increasingly I am editing and editing and again editing what I write a thousand times and I miss the spontaneity of clicking the 'new post' tab and just typing it out. I am here for that. I want to write and write and not edit. Blogging is probably a dinosaur right now, but who wouldn't agree that dinosaurs are cute as an idea. I have taken a second chance with studying again, I will soon be looking for jobs again(I miss the morning hustle of going to work), and I simply do not want this space to die out.    

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